It's been almost a year since I introduced you all to Jimmy. The post titled Staying Away From Jimmy has received more hits than any other of my blogs. I closed the original by saying, "To be continued," yet I didn't. You may want to read it to refresh yourself.
Now, let me bring you up to date on what has happened to our good friend.
Jimmy went from the Juvenile Rehabilitation Center straight to prison, because he hadn't sufficiently rehabilitated. When he was finally released from prison he was missing a few teeth, caused by several run-ins with a former English professor, Mortimer, who also happened to be 250 pounds of solid muscle. Over the years, Mortimer decided to bulk up because he found that being intimidating was the only way to get his students to pronounce words correctly. When he heard an offending word, like someone pronouncing "height" like it had an "h" at the end, saying "heighth," he would slug them. This was frowned upon by the principal, superintendent, and law enforcement, so he ended up in the slammer.
Jimmy had the misfortune of being Mortimer's cellmate. Jimmy continued his pronoun abuse, and Mortimer found a good reason to use him as a punching bag. Jimmy also had problems with a few words, like "height," so Mortimer had several reasons to pound Jimmy into the ground.
It started like this. They were in their cell when Jimmy turned to Mortimer and said, "Can I axe you a question?"
Mortimer said, "Excuse me?"
"I need to axe you a question."
The fist came out of nowhere. "It's 'ASK' you moron."
"OK, OK. I just wanted to know if you had any idea why that guard, Bruno, was being so mischievous lately?" Unfortunately, he pronounced it "mis-chee-vee-us."
Again, he pronounced it incorrectly. Mortimer's fist flew through the air.
"It's 'mis-chi-vous', idiot. Where did you learn to speak?"
"In school. The one acrossed from the high-tension wires."
"Acrossed? You mean 'across' don't you?" POW!!
"Stop hitting me! You make me want to excape."
"Escape!!" Mortimer screamed, landing another blow. "There's no x in escape, and while we're at it, there's no x in espresso either!"
"Owww!! I'm bleeding. I need to get a bandage in my draw."
And that was just one day's English lessons.